Don't go in the tall grass alone.

So today has been one of those days, you know youve done alot but it hasn't felt like it. I've been sat outside reading Paper Towns and playing pokemon Blue. For the past 4 hours i've been sat watching The Office aswell. It has been fun. This week has been really quiet. I spent saturday with Ebbie which was so much fun, the most fun i've had in a while. But besides that i've been home. When I say quiet I don't mean boring I literally mean quiet. Usually where i'd be sat playing a video game I would have music playing or if I was on the computer i'd have a video playing in the background or TV or something... I don't know, its been nice to be alone with my thoughts but its getting kind of lonely. I don't know who said it but someone once said if your left alone with nothing but your thoughts for too long you'll go insane.
It's not been like this by my own free will, MSN won't let me sign in, so i've been cut off from all the people I would normally talk to. My family have been busy with their own projects so I havn't really spoken to them either. It's starting to feel like i'm going to go insane if I stay in this house much longer. All I find myself doing is Flipping back and forth between website to see if anything has been updated. I know that sounds sad... and it really is but there is nothing that I can focus my attention on so i'm stuck in the cycle.

Body Conscious;
This is the next subject. Okay, so i've been feeling horrible about my body again. I know my friends are amazing and I shouldn't feel conscious about myself when i'm with them but I can't help it when it comes to my body. I've never been comfortable with it. I try and laugh it off and say 'oh it's fine, im fine with it so you should be' so it seems normal to people but inside it just doesn't feel right. Here is a list of things I don't like about my body:

Hair (Style)
Eyes (Bags under neath)
Nose (Huge)
Mouth
Shoulder (Boney)
Spine (Boney)
Ribs (Stick out)
Elbows (Boney)
Stomach (Flabby)
Feet (Nails)

Insecurity is a bitch. But I feel like i'm starting to get over some of these things. I'm also starting to feel at ease with who I am now. I shouldn't feel bad about what I like, what I look like, what I sound like. All these things aren't my fault, its the nature I was given when I was created and I should be proud of what I am. Because theres nothing I can do about it.

I miss my friends, I'm going to get in touch with Damo, James and Joe at some point this week to see if they want to go down mansfield because I miss those guys so much. I miss the routines we used to have.
I need to get in touch with Simon, Laura and Ebbie aswell, because I want to see if I can arrange something for thrusday because I know me Laura and Simon have an exam and it'd be nice to see those guys again, me and Ebbie can show them our epic roof jumping skills. Yeah.

Jumping to a new subject:
Saturday, Mine and Ebb'es epic roof adventures.
So I met Ebbie in town just after 12 o'clock on saturday so we could walk around town and spend some time together because we promised it to each other when we left, that because theres 15 miles between us all, we'll still meet up and go places. So we wandered around town for a while just taking in the scenary when we ran out of places to go, so I suggested we go up on the multi-story car park. Why not? So we walked up there and had an awesome time, taking photos and scarying ourselves by looking over the edge. Eventually the heat got too much and we headed back down. It was an amazing day.

Wow this post is dragging on abit. I think i'll leave it here. I'm going to watch one more episode of the office and then go make some Cutlets and Rice and sit down to watch Battle Royale.

Au Revoir!

Oh! we've booked our holiday to france. In 'This book will change your life' there is a whole week dedicated to going to France and we've booked it on those dates so my challenges can be done and I can finnaly see Paris in all it's Christmas time glory.

Au revoir mon ami!

x