Friends

I feel so lost right now. Like in what I want to do in life and in who I am as a person.

I've come to a point where all my interests are conflicting with one another. I've experienced alot and feel that there are quite a few different paths I could travel down that would result in me being completely different people. But I have no idea which one to choose and that scares the living hell out of me.

I love my friends. I love the people in my life. I don't feel like I have a family. I'm incapable of getting a job.

I'm at that awkward stage with my new friends where we aren't close enough to hang out all day at each others houses. But we can hang out all day at college or in town and have an amazing time. I need to break down these awkward barriers and just go for it. This could turn into some Gurren Lagann-esque speech but i'm not gonna go there.

What sucks the most is the fact that the group of people I want to be close to already have a large group of friends that they are incredibly close to. So when I hang around with them I feel like a bit of a 5th wheel, as if i'm laughing at an inside joke i'm not in on.

I'm going to find a way around this because I need these people in my life. I love them so much.